Court Nintendo
by PhUnGuY
Summary: The Mario dudes take their cases to court! Its been a year, and I've finally managed to make case 2! Peach's appeal against Bowser!
1. Trial of the Ages --Peach vs. Bowser

Dizclaimer: I own the judge guy! I DON'T own the Nintendo characters! Have fun (.  
  
Also, anything in ' ' is being said in thought.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Court Nintendo  
  
Case 1: Trial of the Ages  
  
Plaintiff: Princess Peach Toadstool  
  
Defendant: King Bowser Koopa  
  
Plaintiff is suing the defendant on accounts of stalking, breaking and entering, kidnapping, battery, and attempted rape.  
  
Jury is made up of Pikmin and Pokemon.  
  
Judge: Order! Order in the court! Let's get it started!  
  
Peach: Can I fix my hair really quick?  
  
Judge: NO!  
  
Peach: But why?!  
  
Judge: DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!  
  
Peach: Objection!  
  
Judge: Overruled! Besides, the case hasn't even started yet!  
  
Peach: FINE!  
  
Judge: The case between Bowser and Peach will now begin. Representing Princess Peach will be her lawyer, Daisy. Representing Bowser will be Kammy Magikoopa.  
  
Peach: NOW can I fix my hair?  
  
Judge: NO! Now we're going to flip a coin to see who gets to state their side of the story first.  
  
Bowser: What?! A coin?! What kind of court is this?!  
  
Judge: My court! And we run it as I say!  
  
Bowser: *grumbling* we'll see who's court it is when I take over…..  
  
Judge: WHAT WAS THAT?!  
  
Bowser: What was what?  
  
*Bailiff flips coin*  
  
Bowser: Heads!  
  
Peach: BUT I WANTED HEADS!  
  
Bowser: TOO BAD! I SAID IT FIRST!  
  
Peach: I WANT HEADS! IGNORE HIM!  
  
Bowser: NO WAY! I SAID HEADS FIRST!  
  
Judge: ORDER IN THE COURT! EVERYONE SHADDAP! Besides, it landed on tails.  
  
Peach: I won!  
  
Bowser: Stupid whore…….  
  
Judge: HEY! THERE WILL BE NO NAME-CALLING BY ANYONE IN MY COURTROOM BESIDES ME! Peach, please take the stand and tell us what happened.  
  
Peach: Well, it all started about 20 years ago in pre-school……*48 minutes later* blah blah blah blah blah blah blah……..*57 minutes later* And then in high school he was always trying to kiss me and flirt with me. But I rejected him every time. So when we graduated, he kidnapped me! But my love Mario came and rescued me. He's kidnapped me well over 15 times!  
  
Bowser: THAT'S A LIE! THERE'S NO WAY I COULD HAVE DONE IT THA….I mean, I'd never do such a thing!  
  
Peach: HE LIES! And that's not all. He's also hurt my Mario many many times. I can't begin to tell you all the times Mario has ended up in the hospital thanks to him.  
  
Bowser: LIE! ALL LIES!  
  
Judge: SHADDAP! ORDER IN THE COURT!  
  
Peach: I don't lie. It's all true.  
  
Bowser: OBJECTION!  
  
Judge: OVERRULED!  
  
Peach: He's also tried to rape me!  
  
Bowser: THAT IS DEFINITELY A LIE!  
  
Judge: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT UP?!  
  
Bowser: Sorry…..  
  
Judge: I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP! NO MORE WORDS ARE TO EXIT YOUR MOUTH!  
  
Peach: He's broken so many of my windows trying to get in my castle, my insurance won't cover it anymore!  
  
Bowser: LIES!!!!!! Like you can't afford it anyway!  
  
Judge: If you say one more thing….  
  
Peach: He just won't leave me alone! He's stalking me!  
  
Bowser: I AM NO…….*looks blankly with his lips pressed together* 'whoops…'  
  
Peach: *snarls at Bowser* He's always had this huge obsessive crush on me.  
  
Bowser: *bites his upper lip so he doesn't say anything*  
  
Judge: Is that all Peach?  
  
Peach: Yes your honor.  
  
Judge: You may be seated. Bowser, please step up to the stand and explain YOUR side of the story.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Who will win this case? Find out Bowser's story in the next episode! 


	2. Trial of the Ages --Part 2

Dizclaimer: The judge dude is mine! (P.S., I forgot to mention what the judge is in the last story. The judge is a Paratroopa that quit Bowser's army many years ago to go into law and politics. The Paratroopa, obviously, is property of Nintendo, but the character in general belongs to me.) I don't own any of the other characters though.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Judge: Bowser, please state your side of the case.  
  
Bowser: Yes your honor. First of all, it all started a year ago.  
  
Peach: OBJECTION!  
  
Judge: OVERRULED!  
  
Peach: No! No overruling! Let me fix my hair and I'll leave you alone.  
  
Judge: I WILL THROW THIS MALLET AT YOUR PRETTY FACE IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP!  
  
Peach: You think I'm pretty? Why, judge…….  
  
Judge: *irritated* If you don't shut those fat lips, I'll shave your head.  
  
Peach: AAH! Not my beautiful hair! Fine! Besides, I have a boyfriend.  
  
Bowser: CAN I GET ON WITH THIS!  
  
Peach: NO! IT STARTED WAY OVER A YEAR AGO!  
  
Bowser: I'LL SHOOT YOU!  
  
Judge: Both of you! Shut up! Order in my court! *throws a rock at Peach*  
  
Bowser: Thank you! Anyways, it started about a year ago. I was busy minding my own business when my alarm went off in my castle. Someone must have been breaking in. I sent all of my troops to go all around my castle to find the intruder. They all got the crap kicked out of them. Everywhere I looked there was a wounded soldier! I thought that I was gonna die!  
  
Peach: ARE YOU INFERRING THAT I DID THAT?!  
  
Judge: ORDER!  
  
Peach: Soooooooorry.  
  
Judge: That's it. Bailiff, you know what to do.  
  
*Bailiff gags Peach*  
  
Peach: *muffled* Mmph mmph mmmmm-mmmm-mmmph!!!!!  
  
Judge: Well, it helps. Continue.  
  
Bowser: ANYWAYS! I saw a pink flash so I decided to chase after it. But me, being the slow hunk of bulk that I am, lost it instantly. Until it appeared behind me and beat me over the head with a frying pan! I awoke in my office chair throne thing and Peach appeared out of nowhere in my main cell! The next thing I know, I'm being whomped by Mario! Peach was just standing there laughing.  
  
Peach: *muffled* mmfmmfmfmffmmmmmmmmmmmf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Bowser: I was so hurt by the deception….*starts to cry*  
  
Judge: *sniff* Is that all?  
  
Bowser: Yes, your honor.  
  
Peach: *confused and angry look on her face* MMPHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMF?!!!!!!!!!  
  
Judge: You may be seated. Ms. Daisy, please call your first witness to the stand.  
  
  
  
  
  
Well, that's Bowser's side of the story. Next up is the interrogation part of the case! Don't miss out! 


	3. Trial of the Ages --Final Interrogation

Dizclaimer: As always, I don't own any of the characters here except the judge. Oh yea, the bailiff is minez too. So…..here's the interrogation part. This one's a lil' longer than the other ones cuz I gots to get through the interviews of some witnesses, Peach, and Bowser. And, as in my other fics with Toad, he has the surfer dude voice tone.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
Daisy: I call to the stand my first witness. Luigi Mario  
  
*Luigi walks up to the stand and trips*  
  
Daisy: Um…right…anyway, Luigi, how long have you known Princess Peach?  
  
Luigi: *in funky Italian accent* Well-a, ever since-a her name was just Princess-a Toadstool. Then-a she got her-a name changed-a legally.  
  
Daisy: That's off the subject. Did you ever witness a kidnapping?!  
  
Luigi: Sorry. No, but-a I helped rescue-a her.  
  
Daisy: How many times have you rescued her?  
  
Luigi: My first-a adventure to rescue her-a from Bowser was when-a I helped- a Mario when he was-a hurt on the first quest-a to save her. He kept-a her in a cell and guarded it-a himself. Back then-a, he only knew how to spit-a fireballs and jump up and-a down. For-a some reason he only left-a a bridge over a hot pool-a of lava.  
  
Daisy: Uh hum…was that the only time?  
  
Luigi: No. We've-a had to rescue her-a many times.  
  
Daisy: Did you witness any feelings from Bowser for Peach?  
  
Luigi: If-a I'm-a not-a mistaken, that's-a one of the reasons he does it-a.  
  
Daisy: What are the other possible reasons he may have kidnapped her?  
  
Luigi: He-a also wanted to-a take over the Mushroom Kingdom-a. That's-a the only other reason I can-a think of.  
  
Daisy: Thank you. I'd like to call up another witness, if I may.  
  
Judge: Proceed.  
  
Daisy: I'd now like to call Toad Toad to the stand.  
  
Toad: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!  
  
Daisy: Um...you're here to defend Peach, remember?  
  
Toad: Oh yea! Sorry dudette.  
  
Judge: Please refrain from using any slang terms in the courtroom.  
  
Toad: Sorry.  
  
Daisy: Toad, have you witnessed any of Bowser's accused kidnappings?  
  
Toad: I've seen about 2.  
  
Daisy: How did he do it?  
  
Toad: well, one time he came in his helicopter thingie, and he swooped down and grabbed her. The second time, he stole the power of the stars and he cast a spell and trapped her in a window.  
  
Daisy: So you can assure us that he has kidnapped her several times.  
  
Toad: Yea.  
  
Daisy: The defense rests. May I ask a favor of the court?  
  
Judge: What is it?  
  
Daisy: That you please un-gag my client.  
  
Judge: Very well…Bailiff?  
  
*bailiff de-gags Peach*  
  
*Peach gasps for air*  
  
Judge: Ms. Magikoopa, please call any witnesses.  
  
Kammy: I'd like to call to the stand Mario Mario.  
  
*Koopa dressed up as Mario walks in*  
  
Peach: WHAT?! THAT'S NOT EVEN MARIO!  
  
Daisy: Objection!  
  
Judge: You can't object on witnesses!  
  
Kammy: Yes it is! Look! See the bushy 'stache and the big sideburns? And who couldn't notice the trademark red cap?  
  
Judge: Proceed.  
  
Kammy: Mario, has Peach ever confessed anything about faking the kidnappings?  
  
Mario: *in REALLY fake Italian accent* Wella she has saida some stuffa about her lockinga herselfa ina onea of hisa cells.  
  
Peach: OBJECTION!  
  
Judge: TO WHAT?!  
  
Peach: First of all, why such specific questions? They planned it in advance! And second of all, THAT'S NOT EVEN MARIO!  
  
Judge: First objection sustained, second objection overruled. Please, no specific questions. Just general to-the-point questions.  
  
Kammy: Sorry. Have you ever witnessed a bad side to Peach?  
  
Mario: Yesa. She throwsa tantrums whena she doesn't get hera way. And she-a abuses Bowsera. Punching and kicking and screaming…  
  
Daisy: WHAT DO YOU EXPECT HER TO DO WHEN SHE'S BEING KIDNAPPED?!  
  
Judge: Order!  
  
Kammy: The defense rests.  
  
Judge: Daisy, please begin your interrogation of the defendant.  
  
Daisy: Bowser, when you were explaining your version of this story, you said that you saw a pink flash, correct?  
  
Bowser: Yea…  
  
Daisy: And you also said that the person was behind you and they beat you over the head. First of all, how do you know you didn't hit your head on something in the hallway?  
  
Bowser: Well…um  
  
Daisy: And even if you didn't, how did you know the person behind you beat you over the head with a FRYING PAN? They were behind you. I doubt you have eyes in the back of your head.  
  
Bowser: Well…er…  
  
Daisy: Why don't you just admit it? You did it! You're guilty on all accounts!  
  
Bowser: LEAVE ME ALONE! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! *cries*  
  
Kammy: Objection! She's not allowed to make him cry like that!  
  
Judge: Sustained. Daisy, lose the roughness of your interrogation.  
  
Daisy: Yes your honor. The defense rests.  
  
Judge: Kammy, begin your interrogation of the plaintiff.  
  
Kammy: Isn't it true that you kick and punch and hurt Bowser?  
  
Peach: Well, yea, but what do you expect me to do when he's forcefully holding m…  
  
Kammy: And isn't it also true that you have pushed Bowser down several flights of stairs?  
  
Peach: Yea, but what's a girl to do when she's being kidna…  
  
Kammy: Admit it! You've framed Bowser every time!  
  
Peach: I will throw this microphone at your head if you don't stop accusing me!  
  
Judge: ORDER!  
  
Kammy: The defense rests.  
  
Judge: The court will have a 2 hour recess for the jury to announce it's decision.  
  
  
  
  
  
Well? You like? Now you have to wait for the verdict! Ha! Aren't I nice? Hehe…who do YOU think is gonna win? 


	4. Trial of the Ages --Verdict

Dizclaimer: THE VERDICT! MUAHAHAHAHA! Waited long enuf? I don't think so….but I'm nice. So…enjoy! And if you guessed right, congrats! If u guessed wrong, HAHAHAHA YOU BIG FAT LOSER! I don't own any of the characters here.  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Judge: Court is back in session! Has the jury reached a decision?  
  
*Pikmin and Pokemon all nod heads*  
  
Judge: What is the jury's decision?  
  
Pichu: Pichu!  
  
Judge: Um…what?  
  
Pichu: PICHU!  
  
Judge: Grrr…  
  
Kammy: I'll take care of this! *casts a spell*  
  
Pichu: *in demonic voice* Bowser wins!  
  
Peach & Daisy: *simultaneously* WHAAAAAAT?!!!  
  
Bowser: MUAHAHA!!!  
  
Peach: NO WAY!  
  
Daisy: LOOK! PICHU, TELL US WHO REALLY ONE!!!! *grabs Pichu and shakes him madly*  
  
Pichu: Pich! (pronounced "Peech")  
  
Daisy: SEE?!  
  
Judge: The jury has made the final decision! Bowser wins!  
  
Peach: WHAT?!  
  
Daisy: NO!  
  
Kammy: HAHAHA! LOOOOOOOSER!!!  
  
Bowser: *singing* IIIII WIIIIN, YOOOOOU LOOOOOOSE!!!!!  
  
Peach: *grabs a chair and throws it at Kammy and Bowser* TAKE THIS YOU *beep*-IN *beep*!!  
  
Bowser: *is hit by the chair* Ooowww…  
  
Kammy: HOW DARE YOU?! OOGABOOGA! *fires a huge meteor at Peach*  
  
Daisy: *beats Kammy in the back of the head with the judge's mallet* HI- YA!!!!  
  
Judge: MAD WOMEN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! *flies away at mach 7*  
  
*Bowser slowly sneaks out*  
  
*Courthouse is destroyed by the fight*  
  
Peach: I'M FILING AN APPEAL! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT…AGAIN! COUNT ON IT!  
  
  
  
  
  
Wellz? Enjoy? Another case is comin up soon! And does this hint that there will be another case between Bowser and Peach?  
  
Peach: DUH! I SAID I WAS FILING AN APPEAL! Oh, and Daisy, you're fired.  
  
Daisy: WHAT?! 


	5. Peach's Appeal to Trial of the Ages

Whoa! Its been a few days over a year since I wrote this fic! I finally got time to get online, and I've had a year to refresh my fic-writing abilites :) Well, I got great reviews for the first one. So here's case #2! Again, anything in ' ' is being said in thought.  
  
Dizclaimer: I own the judge. Peach, Bowser, Daisy, Kammy, and all other Mario based characters are property of Nintendo. I don't claim them as my own in any way.  
~*~  
Court Nintendo  
  
Case 2: Appeal of the Ages  
  
Plaintiff: Princess Peach Toadstool  
  
Defendant: King Bowser Koopa  
  
Peach: SINCE WHEN ARE YOU KING?!  
  
Bowser: SINCE I TOOK OVER!  
  
Peach: WHAT?!  
  
Judge: Dear lord help me...not these two again...ORDER IN THE DAMN COURT! Anyway, Ms. Toadstool will be represented by Daisy...what does this say? It's smudged...I can't read it. Well, Daisy. Mr. Koopa will be represented by Ms. Kammy Magikoopa. The plaintiff is appealing a previous decision made by the present court.  
  
The jury is once more composed of Pokemon and Pikmin.  
  
Peach: Why are there no HUMAN jury members?  
  
Judge: Shut up.  
  
Peach: WHAT?! HOW DARE Y-  
  
Judge: SHUT UP OR LOSE THE CASE AGAIN BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS!  
  
Peach: What happened to "order in the court"?!  
  
Judge: OBVIOUSLY, THAT DOESN'T WORK ON YOU!  
  
Bowser: *points and laughs* HAHA!  
  
Peach: *pulls out a mirror* *puts on make up* Stupid motherf-  
  
Judge: PUT IT AWAY! NO MAKE UP! LETS NOT HAVE A REPEAT OF LAST TIME!  
  
Peach: Touchy...hey there's a big vein popping out of your forehead!  
  
Judge: *growls* We're going to play craps to see who goes first.  
  
Bowser: CRAPS?! I HATE CRAPS! I ALWAYS LOSE! Besides, WHAT KIND OF COURT USES GAMBLING TO DETERMINE THIS?!  
  
Judge: Again, Mr. Koopa, MY COURT! NOW SHUT UP AND SHOOT!  
  
Bowser: *pulls out a gun* YES!  
  
Judge: NOT THAT KIND!  
  
*bailiff hands Bowser some dice*  
  
Bowser: Whoops. Sorry. *throws the dice* SEVEN?! NO FAIR!  
  
Peach: YAY! I GO FIRST!  
  
Judge: Daisy, you may now interview your client.  
  
Daisy: Thanks your honor. How are you Peach? I love your hair. Where'd you get it done?  
  
Peach: Well I...  
  
Judge: *smacks forehead* NOT LIKE THAT! THE CASE YOU BRUNETTE BIMBO!  
  
Daisy: OOOOH! Hehe..sorry..Why do you find the last decision made by the court unfair?  
  
Peach: That...thing said Peach was the winner! But Kammy cast an evil spell and made it say Bowser won!  
  
Daisy: How do you KNOW that Kammy made the Pichu talk like that?  
  
Peach: Who's side are you on? What kind of Pokemon talks in a demonic voice? What kind of Pokemon even talks?  
  
Daisy: WHO'S ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE?!  
  
Peach: Sorry...I mean, I know they're all demonic things, but still. One that talks?  
  
Kammy: OBJECTION! I WATCH THAT SHOW EVERY DAY! HAVEN'T YOU EVEN SEEN MEOWTH?! AND HOW DARE YOU USE THE NAME OF THE POKEMON IN VAIN?!  
  
*everyone in the courtroom stares blankly at Kammy*  
  
Judge: Riiiiiight...overruled.  
  
Bowser: 'I'm doomed...'  
  
Peach: Well, that's all I have to say. Can I fix my hair now?  
  
Judge: Not again...NO! NO NO NO!  
  
Peach: Why not?! I FINISHED MY PART!  
  
Judge: ORDER! YOU! REMAIN SILENT! BAILIFF! TAKE CARE OF THIS NOW!  
  
Bailiff: *shaves Peach's head and gags her*  
  
Peach: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!  
  
Bowser: *bursts out laughing*  
  
Daisy: I'm done. Affirmative rests.  
  
Judge: Ok then. Ms. Magikoopa, please call your client to the stand.  
What does Bowser have to say? What kind of questions will Kammy ask? What twisted plot do they have up there sleeve? Will Peach win the case? Will she ever grow her hair back? Stay tuned! 


End file.
